Our daily lives are full of gifts. Sometimes those gifts are large and tangible. Other times they are small and unnoticed. These little gifts are, in essence, the spoon full of sugar that help us to enjoy our time here on earth. This blog is just a glimpse into the 'sugar' that shapes my life in the most delightful way.
They say that a routine is essential for an infant. Establishing that routine has been a struggle for us but things are finally coming together.
Now, I am a schedule kinda girl. I am a teacher after all and most of us are schedule freaks. I love a good list format schedule. I get even more excited when it is time specific. :)
There is one part of that day to day routine that we have set with Sugar that is so special to me.
At night, after playing with the Mr., after bath time, after Sugar is all dressed in his snuggly PJs and sleepsack, I sit in the glider with Sugar.I rock and feed him while reading him children's bible stories.
It may seem silly to read bible stories to a 2 month old (I'm not ready to admit he will be 3 months next week). However, I promised God that when he gave me a baby to love that I would raise him in his word and by his love. I am keeping that promise.
I want Sugar to know all about our Savior from the time he can talk.
I want him to grow up to be a man of God and I don't think you can start too early.
I love reading the stories to him and talking with him about God's glory, love, and grace.
Maybe the most magical part of this time is when I have finished our story for the night, I say bedtime prayers with Sugar.
We thank Jesus for another day with each other. We thank him for all of our blessings. We ask him to send his angels to watch over Sugar as he sleeps. Finally, I thank God for sending Sugar to earth so that I could be a mommy.
I want him to never be able to remember a night when he didn't talk to his heavenly father. I want it to be a part of his routine forever.
Suds are a gift that may seem a little strange but to a clean freak like myself they are MAGICAL.
I LOVE a clean house. I live for fresh vacuum lines, an empty clothes hamper, and the smell of Pledge dusting spray. Yep. I'm a freak.
However, there is NOTHING that compares to a fresh clean baby. The smell of baby wash on their little pudgy arms. The freshly combed hair. The snuggly clean clothes. YUM!
My new favorite time with the little sugar is bath time even though it makes a giant mess and sometimes I get peed on. I just love watching him kick in the water and coo as I pour water over his head.
As I think about bath time and how much it brings joy to my heart I can't help but draw a parallel to my Christianity.
Jesus' blood washed away my sins. My gross, disgusting, yucky sins.
In essence he put my spit up, poop and pee, milk covered, self in the bath and poured water over me. He got down into every one of my crevices where my nastiest dirtiest sin was and scrubbed it clean just as I do with Little Sugar as a scrub in between all of his little rolls where gross things get stuck.
The labor of that sacrifice for Jesus was not fun (to say the least). But the reward of loving on a forgiven believer that is so thankful for his sacrifice was worth it. Just like the reward of snuggling a freshly washed baby is worth the time and mess that bath time can be to me.
What is so amazing to me is that, just like babies, everyday we get messy again. Covered in sin just as babies are covered in spit up, poopy and pee, milk, and boogers. Jesus offers to wash us clean. It is worth it to him just to have a relationship with him.
That's incredible.
It makes me thankful for suds. Suds remind me of my salvation.
I just love that everything is a first for the little sugar. It is so unique to the first year of life. Never again will he have a first Christmas or a first snow. Never will he have a first smile or first laugh.
Today is Valentine's Day, another first.
Valentine's Day is a day that I have never been really into. I am not one of those girls that expects gifts and to be pampered. Its a Hallmark holiday and I usually leave it at that. My Mr. does a wonderful job of making me feel special every day, but on Valentines day he always likes to do something a little extra. He is a romantic at heart. This usually entails a sweet card that makes me cry and some flowers for me to think of him every time I look at them.
This year was special because it was a first. This was the first Valentines day in the 9 Valentine's Days we have spent together that we had a Valentine other than ourselves.
There is no box of chocolates that can compare to this sweetness...
You know, I am sure people get tired of my constant social media posts of my adorable child. However, I feel like it is simply unfair of me to keep his sweetness all to myself.
I am REALLY doing the world a favor. ;) That's what I am telling myself.
It is such a gift to be able to snap pictures of him any time I want. Have you ever thought about people in third world countries that have beautiful babies that they adore just as much as I adore my sugar and don't have a way to document them. No way to remember when they were new. No way to remember the first smile or the first bath. No way to be reminded of just how small they once were.
What a gift we have.
I have spent time in one of these places with a mother who did not have printed pictures of her babies. I was with her when she was pregnant with her third child and she was ELATED for me to snap a picture of her perfect belly as God knitted together life inside her.
I was able to send her the printed pictures when I returned to the US and her reaction was pure joy and gratefulness according to the missionaries that were there. I cannot imagine not having a single picture of my belly as a miracle was growing inside or a single picture of my sweet boy as he grows.
I am so blessed to have the ability to capture my baby as he changes everyday.
I LOVE living in the south. The food is better. The people are sweeter. The winters are warmer... oh wait, that's a lie. Its cold here. Very cold.
South Carolina has had an unseasonably cold winter and an unreasonable about of winter weather for this flip flop wearing southern gal.
As sweet talkin' southerners we don't do winter precipitation in ANY form very graciously. When there is any talk of winter weather at all, we flock to the stores and buy up all the milk and bread they have and prepare for what we would compare to an apocalypse.
Northerners laugh at us. That's fine. We laugh at them as they are sweating and complaining in August when it is a startling 85 degrees. Gasp!
We have had two winter storms this year... so far...and I hope that is all.
The Sugar's castle during Snow Day #1, 2014
Sugar was genuinely unimpressed with the white stuff.
Winter weather to me is a lot like a family vacation... Its all fun and games at first but by the end, everyone hates each other and the thought of getting back in a car with those people for a long drive home makes you want to throw yourself in the ocean.
Even with the cold and wet status of the winter days around here there are gifts to be found...
The best gift is that South Carolina is closed and the WONDERFUL part about that is Mr. gets to work from home! We LOVE having him here even if he has to be in the office all day.
These pictures are from the ice apocalypse that hit South Carolina this week.
We have been unable to leave our home since Tuesday evening.
Cabin fever is an understatement.
Our little Dr.Seuss tree in our front yard is done with winter too...
Another gift is the pure majestic-ness of creation. When you look at the intricate design of the ice and how it forms over the earth. It is such a beautiful reminder that our God is such an artist.
Maternity leave has been an incredible gift to me. I have loved every minute that I have been able to spend with my precious little sugar. I am so sad that it is almost over.
This is a pretty accurate portrayal of my feelings...
The next 17 days are going to be very hard. Every time I think of going back to work and missing out on time with this perfect little lump of love I get emotional.
However, I do have a thankful heart that I have been able to be at home with my baby for 12 weeks. There are so many mommies out there who simply cannot take more than the mandatory 6 weeks. I could not imagine having to leave sugar when he was only 6 weeks old. To those moms who have to go back to work that soon, you are a rock star.
Being a working mom was something that I never thought I would do. I always pictured myself as a stay at home mom. I always thought I would be at home making lunches, washing clothes, playing, and waiting on daddy to come home from work. It has been my dream.
God had different plans.
He called me to teach and apparently still has something in store for me there. He has not opened doors for me to be at home but has made me feel so appreciated and missed at my school. He must want my heart to stay there. My work must not be done. I am going to trust him in that.
I do love my job. I love being a teacher. I love changing little lives. The problem is that now I have a little life that I love more than my own. I want to see HIM as he changes. I am sad that I am going to miss out on some of those things because I am at school witnessing someone else's little love change. Its selfish. I know. I said in the beginning of this blog, I'm not perfect.
I am going to choose to be thankful for the gift that has been my maternity leave and the 17 days I have left. I am going to choose to be gracious for what I have been given. I am going to choose to be thankful that my sweet sugar will be spending his days with my family. I am going to choose to be VERY thankful for them. I am going to choose to be excited that he will spend everyday with his grandparents, aunt, and cousins and will know them very well. I am going to choose to be excited to see my coworkers whom I miss very much. I am going to choose to be thankful for coworkers that I love working with. I am going to choose to be thankful that I have a job to help with providing for my family.
Again, I'm not perfect. Therefore, I am okay with saying that at the end of my gift of 17 days, I am going to be sad. I will probably spend my whole first day back at work in tears. Note to self: no mascara that day.
It will be hard. Very, very hard.
I'm not sure how I will go about juggling being a mommy (which I have found to be a FULL TIME flippin' JOB all by its self), a wife, and a teacher. I know people do it. But, as my daddy would say, "I don't care about everybody else, I care about you", I feel like I am climbing up to the high dive and about to jump off only to find the pool is empty and I'm flying head first into concrete. Splat! I might just suck at this. I was good at the wife and teacher gig. I have been okay and the wife and mommy thing. All three? I might suck.
The great part is that even if I suck at being a wife, my husband still loves me. If I suck at being a teacher, my students still think I hung the moon. If I suck at being a mom, Sugar wont care because he thinks I rock. :)
The even better part is, God says I can do it. He promised me that he would never give me more than I can handle.
Now, I know what you all are thinking, "This crazy chick thinks an imperfect body is a gift!?"
Just bare with me.
Recently, I have been seeing a trending phenomenon with new moms on social media. They produce this BEAUTIFUL perfect creation and immediately begin posting 'selfies' standing in front of mirrors commenting about how skinny they are or wish to be soon. They seek congratulations, not on this miracle that they have produced but, on the body that they have managed to keep intact by our world's standards. They want the world to know their post baby bod is a thing of the past and their pre-baby bod is back in action.
Now, I do not claim to hope to maintain these super sexy love handles and extra tummy skin forever. However, I do think there is something pretty magical in the reminder that they provide.
I created a human life.
I had a real human grow inside me. I provided his nourishment. His protection. His home. I did that.
My body did that.
When I look in the mirror do I think "where is the Victoria's Secret talent scout when you need them?" No. But I do think "thank you God. Thank you for making me such a unique being. Thank you for making me woman so that I could bring forth life into this world. What a gift you have given me."
Can you imagine Adam's reaction to Eve when she gave him his first child? Do you think the thought ever came to mind, "I wish she was thin and narrow again. I wish her chest were flatter. I wish her face was less round" ?
No.
Our world, our sinful and confused world has put those thoughts in our minds. The beauty of a woman who has brought life into the world is overwhelming and nothing short of breathtaking.
My body isn't perfect by our world's standards but it is perfect by my sons. My new large chest is just right for snuggling when he is tired. My belly is soft and perfect for him to curl up on top of. My larger hips can sway him to sleep for days.
There are women out there that WISH for those love handles. They LONG for those stretch marks. They PRAY for those hips that will never be the same.
So, I consider my imperfect bod to be a constant reminder that I have been blessed beyond measure.
I made this guy! For that, I'm proud of these imperfections.
Wow. Has it really been 2 months? What in the world have I been doing for 2 flipping months???
Oh yeah, learning how to be a mom. Clearly, I'm not what you would call a 'quick learner'.
Some of you may be saying, "where are the 1 month pictures?"
Well, they got lost in the newborn fog. I have just gotten my life together enough to use a camera other than the one attached to my phone.
Never the less, we have a 2 month old sweet little sugar.
I cannot believe it. I look back at pictures from the day I met him for the first time and wonder how it can be possible that he has been on this earth for two whole months. It makes me sad to see him grow up but it is so sweet to see him come alive.
The sugar is 12.4 pounds
He is wearing 3-6 month clothes
He loves:
-snuggling with mommy in the bed
-'talking' to daddy
-his NUK paci
-wrapping his arm around mommy's neck and playing with her hair
-being sung to (Before the Throne and Jesus Be the Center are his favorites)
-sleeping on his belly (for naps only)
-his swing
-his play-yard mat
- when its time to eat (he is eating 5-6 oz. every three hours)
- showing off his new trick of smiling
-bath time
-having his head rubbed
-kicking his 'frog legs'
-watching fans
-when people laugh
My sweet boy, you are our biggest blessing. You have taught us so much in the past two months and made us so thankful for you everyday. We are loving seeing your personality come alive right before our eyes. You are the cutest thing in the whole wide world. Everyone says so. We love you so much and cannot believe that God gave us the privilege of getting to be your parents. You are such an amazing gift. We cannot wait to see what God has planned for you.
A few weeks ago I came across a blog that had a prayer on it from a mother to her baby boy that just so happens to have been born on the very same day that you were. Since then I have been repeating this same prayer for you every morning as I rock and feed you when you wake up.
My precious son, I pray there’s not a day you can remember not knowing Jesus.
That you understand your need for a Savior at an early age, and experience the freedom that comes from giving your life to Him.
I pray that praise would be in your heart and on your lips continually.
I pray that you would know who you are in light of the Gospel.
That you would have a Christ-centered confidence and Christ-centered worth.
I pray that you would hate sin and love holiness. That you would know the power of the blood.
I pray that you would develop relationships based on the drawing of the Holy Spirit.
That you would love the word of God and that you would seek to understand it, hide it in your heart, and base your life on it.
I pray that you will love others well. That you would have a servants heart
and a desire for your life to be used for something greater than yourself.
Sugar, you are a child of the King. A beloved son of God.
